The game that we played

(9:06:15 PM) Brennan: would you rather eat a cocksickle or a poopsickle?
(9:06:25 PM) Brennan: (like an ice cube with a nougatey center)
(9:06:33 PM) Markus: oh god
(9:06:57 PM) Markus: I'd rather not have a popsicle ever again than have either of those
(9:07:17 PM) Brennan: not a choice, you can only pick from the selection given
(9:07:39 PM) Markus: I'm stating preference, and declining to answer
(9:07:43 PM) Brennan: No loopholes. Air enclosed box.
(9:07:59 PM) Markus: which means I suffocate one way or the other
(9:08:09 PM) Markus: if I'm dead, no choice must be made
(9:08:30 PM) Brennan: well one choice must've to result in the daisy-pushing
(9:08:35 PM) Markus: no
(9:08:41 PM) Markus: "air inclosed box"
(9:08:52 PM) Markus: I asphyxiated while considering my answer
(9:08:57 PM) Brennan: well, there are a few plants in there to help you out
(9:09:03 PM) Brennan: you never asked
(9:09:03 PM) Markus: HA!
(9:09:08 PM) Markus: HAHAHAHAHA
(9:09:09 PM) Brennan: I never said
(9:09:10 PM) Markus: LOL
(9:09:23 PM) Brennan: so choose you must
(9:10:14 PM) Markus: a few plants wou;dn
(9:10:18 PM) Markus: *wouldn't do it
(9:10:31 PM) Markus: there must be an ocean with algea in this box
(9:10:35 PM) Markus: or at least
(9:10:43 PM) Markus: a moderately sized pool
(9:10:47 PM) Markus: is there a pool?
(9:10:52 PM) Brennan: yes
(9:11:02 PM) Brennan: but out of reach of the participant
(9:11:13 PM) Markus: DAMN
(9:11:20 PM) Markus: You knew I was gonna drown
(9:11:38 PM) Brennan: until I press this button this invisible curtain will guard you from jumping in
(9:11:54 PM) Markus: ok, I've got it, I used my belt to hang myself
(9:12:06 PM) Brennan: there's no clothes in this box
(9:12:06 PM) Markus: And I definitely have a belt
(9:12:10 PM) Brennan: they disappear upon entering
(9:12:12 PM) Markus: I always have a belt
(9:12:19 PM) Markus: no, I would never walk in that box
(9:12:22 PM) Brennan: which begs the question of who is this perverted box-keeper
(9:12:47 PM) Brennan: which needn't be answered at this juncture
(9:12:50 PM) Markus: no clothes, no go in box, no choice must be made
(9:13:07 PM) Markus: clothes->in box->death->no answer
(9:13:08 PM) Brennan: this box was a trap that you walked into accidentally, without your knowing
(9:13:14 PM) Markus: oh
(9:13:33 PM) Markus: hrm
(9:13:33 PM) Markus: well then, I'm naked in a box?
(9:13:45 PM) Brennan: apparently
(9:13:49 PM) Markus: stab myself with one of the plants you said were nearby
(9:13:54 PM) Markus: death again
(9:14:03 PM) Brennan: again, invisible curtain.
(9:14:04 PM) Markus: also
(9:14:41 PM) Markus: the invisible curtain is unbreakable, or impenetrable, or otherwise solid and will not allow me to break through?
(9:14:59 PM) Brennan: did I mention the box was really tall so the curtain also goes up high and then there's ventilation slits between your portion of the room and the plant's (up high)
(9:15:11 PM) Brennan: and this curtain is unbreakable. but I can move it with this button.
(9:15:18 PM) Markus: nice curtain
(9:15:20 PM) Markus: as a sidenote
(9:15:23 PM) Markus: ok then
(9:15:32 PM) Markus: then I bludgeon myself against it until it kills me
(9:15:50 PM) Markus: you said it was definitely solid while it existed
(9:16:02 PM) Markus: *was in place
(9:16:12 PM) Markus: *I'm assuming it always "exists"
(9:16:28 PM) Brennan: surprisingly cushy to human touch
(9:16:42 PM) Markus: completely solid, you said so
(9:16:56 PM) Markus: completely solid implies hard
(9:16:59 PM) Brennan: solid doesn't imply non-cushiness
(9:17:09 PM) Brennan: structurally sound
(9:17:11 PM) Brennan: how's that
(9:17:50 PM) Markus: ok
(9:17:56 PM) Markus: I'll grant you that
(9:17:58 PM) Markus: for now
(9:18:01 PM) Markus: so then
(9:18:10 PM) Markus: how do I eat in this box?
(9:18:14 PM) Markus: I mean
(9:18:25 PM) Markus: it may take me a while to come to this decision
(9:19:09 PM) Markus: also, aside: you started all of this with your "airtight box" thing, you realize this yes?
(9:20:07 PM) Brennan: I told my housemates that I was having the most interesting conversation.
(9:20:20 PM) Markus: indeed?
(9:20:22 PM) Markus: very nice
(9:20:28 PM) Markus: so
(9:20:35 PM) Markus: how do I eat in the box?
(9:21:13 PM) Markus: press the button and push food through the gap in the wall perhaps?
(9:21:25 PM) Brennan: matter can be served by traveling from the opposite side of the wall and onto your side.
(9:21:50 PM) Brennan: but yes, again the button is pressed.
(9:21:50 PM) Markus: but the wall must be opened somehow
(9:21:52 PM) Markus: ok
(9:22:00 PM) Markus: plate of food?
(9:22:01 PM) Markus: bowl?
(9:22:06 PM) Markus: platter?
(9:22:33 PM) Brennan: fruits and such. things that you can eat raw and survive.
(9:22:42 PM) Markus: served on?
(9:22:49 PM) Brennan: by themselves
(9:22:49 PM) Markus: come on now
(9:22:51 PM) Markus: be civil
(9:22:57 PM) Brennan: they're washed
(9:23:08 PM) Markus: the floor could be dirty
(9:23:17 PM) Markus: my ass has been touching it
(9:23:22 PM) Markus: because I'm naked
(9:23:38 PM) Markus: I'm not going to kill myself with the plate
(9:23:40 PM) Markus: I promise
(9:23:40 PM) Brennan: utmost sanitary codes does this box stand by
(9:23:54 PM) Brennan: and no plate.
(9:24:06 PM) Markus: ok
(9:24:14 PM) Markus: I don't need a plate anyway
(9:24:16 PM) Markus: savage
(9:24:24 PM) Markus: what kind of fruits?
(9:24:41 PM) Brennan: stuff it knows not to serve you in case you're allergic
(9:24:45 PM) Markus: apples, oranges, avacados?
(9:25:07 PM) Markus: strawberries, melon?
(9:25:15 PM) Markus: not allergic to any fruit
(9:25:53 PM) Brennan: only when you are too weak to move from refusal to eat will food be served so that you could never be too strong to use it in a hurtful manner
(9:26:11 PM) Brennan: against yourself
(9:26:32 PM) Markus: ok, but what fruit do I get to eat, it may influence my decision based on aftertaste and flavor mixture
(9:26:50 PM) Brennan: neutral fruits
(9:26:58 PM) Markus: so avacado.......
(9:27:02 PM) Markus: *avocado
(9:27:11 PM) Markus: ................lame
(9:27:17 PM) Brennan: you love avocado
(9:27:22 PM) Markus: I do
(9:27:27 PM) Markus: but it is neutral
(9:27:30 PM) Markus: as you said
(9:27:37 PM) Markus: no way to mask flavors
(9:27:51 PM) Markus: are you sure I'm stuck with avocado?
(9:29:35 PM) Brennan: that may be one of the selection
(9:29:40 PM) Brennan: no way to say for sure
(9:29:49 PM) Brennan: until it happens
(9:29:54 PM) Markus: I hope not.
(9:30:02 PM) Markus: strawberries
(9:30:09 PM) Markus: now that would be great
(9:30:14 PM) Markus: but not neutral
(9:30:15 PM) Markus: lame
(9:31:13 PM) Brennan: Avocado's, also known as "the fertility fruit" by the Aztecs, may influence your decision.
(9:31:27 PM) Brennan: *Make you decide faster.
(9:31:36 PM) Markus: I'm okay with that
(9:31:43 PM) Markus: get it over with I say
(9:31:45 PM) Markus: speaking of
(9:31:54 PM) Brennan: have you come to a conclusion?
(9:31:57 PM) Markus: can this situation be prolonged indefinitely?
(9:32:01 PM) Markus: like
(9:32:14 PM) Brennan: till the end of time itself. this box will stand.
(9:32:15 PM) Markus: as long as I need time to think, I will have it?
(9:32:19 PM) Markus: wonderful
(9:32:43 PM) Markus: then I choke myself with my own long grown hair
(9:33:19 PM) Brennan: you are trimmed when you sleep and sleep you eventually must
(9:33:29 PM) Markus: not so sir
(9:33:31 PM) Markus: one moment
(9:34:41 PM) Brennan: A tiny, non-lethal neurotoxin that inhibits hair growth is released into the air on a steady enough basis to keep your locks at bay.
(9:35:05 PM) Markus: awesome
(9:35:07 PM) Brennan: smart box
(9:35:11 PM) Markus: I'm happy with that
(9:36:58 PM) Markus: neurotoxin will eventually build up in my system enough to paralyze me and make answering the question impossible.
(9:37:06 PM) Markus: even if I live
(9:37:20 PM) Brennan: did you not read the "non-lethal" bit of what I just said.
(9:37:27 PM) Markus: I did
(9:37:32 PM) Brennan: it implies something
(9:37:39 PM) Markus: non-lethal does not mean non-paralyzing
(9:37:50 PM) Brennan: touche
(9:38:57 PM) Markus: and paralyzing, or killing nerves, is something neurotoxin does by definition
(9:38:57 PM) Markus: so
(9:38:57 PM) Markus: there we have it
(9:38:57 PM) Markus: I went to a Rose Parade party tonight
(9:39:23 PM) Brennan: the fruit also contain vitamins or sorts to counter the paralyzing effects of the neurotoxin, i.e. it combats the build up, and to keep you healthy.
(9:39:32 PM) Markus: good
(9:39:48 PM) Brennan: so make a decision, Rose parade partyer
**Markus disconnects from the internet
(9:42:09 PM) Brennan: cheater

----------
Author's Notes:

• Don't ask.
• This conversation outweighed its former contender for the spot.
• Markus later admitted to wanting both as each sounded scrumptious.
• (That last point was a lie.)
  

A Conversation - 6.19.8

(10:03:56 PM) *Brennan: word to you, Salvador.
(10:04:08 PM) *Markus: Livingston, I presume
(10:06:10 PM) Markus: They are worried about losing me to a real job, so their having me come back in tomorrow for a half day
(10:06:19 PM) Markus: 3 days this week
(10:06:27 PM) Markus: when it is supposed to be once a week
(10:06:50 PM) Brennan: maybe you'll get a handjob next week.
(10:06:51 PM) Brennan: w00t
(10:06:53 PM) Brennan: for handjobs
(10:06:59 PM) Brennan: should be a bumper sticker
(10:07:07 PM) Markus: lol
(10:07:27 PM) Brennan: that would be cool if they kept asking you to come back more often though
(10:07:36 PM) Markus: yeah
(10:07:42 PM) Brennan: to be honest, I'd want to buy stock in that company
(10:07:53 PM) Markus: Hopefully I'll get this other job I interviewed for twice
(10:07:55 PM) Markus: yeah
(10:08:01 PM) Brennan: no one really comes close to their stuff
(10:08:01 PM) Markus: but they aren't public
(10:08:07 PM) Brennan: I know (I checked)
(10:08:14 PM) Markus: I know. The results are intense
(10:08:23 PM) Markus: even though it sounds like it should be really simple
(10:08:34 PM) Markus: based on the white papers and whatnot
(10:08:57 PM) Brennan: yeah. Sort of like a "wait, why aren't we just doing this" bit of moment
(10:09:01 PM) Markus: I have a feeling it works by managing probabilities of packet loss based on distance
(10:09:02 PM) Brennan: heard the new Coldplay yet?
(10:09:04 PM) Markus: yeah
(10:09:13 PM) Markus: among other things
(10:09:17 PM) Brennan: listening to it now.
(10:09:26 PM) Markus: I only have the single
(10:09:28 PM) Brennan: Was sort of unimpressed until '42'
(10:09:29 PM) Markus: but I love it
(10:09:30 PM) Brennan: oh
(10:09:45 PM) Markus: I did not realize the whole album was out
(10:09:46 PM) Brennan: which is the single?
(10:09:55 PM) Markus: they have a song called '42'?
(10:09:57 PM) Brennan: I got the one they released first, violet hill or sometihng
(10:10:00 PM) Markus: Viva La Vida
(10:10:01 PM) Brennan: yeah
(10:10:06 PM) Brennan: hm
(10:10:10 PM) Brennan: i heard that one on mtv
(10:10:11 PM) Markus: that's the single too
(10:10:28 PM) Brennan: Cool, poppy hooks and I dig em. But Violet Hill has this dark quality to it
(10:10:38 PM) Brennan: though, I must say the guitar solo near the end was a *yawn
(10:10:47 PM) Markus: sad
(10:10:57 PM) Brennan: made me want to go get a burrito from the fridge and forget about the song
(10:10:58 PM) Markus: I liked the inclusion of harpsichord like sound in viva
(10:11:03 PM) Markus: hahahaha
(10:11:05 PM) Brennan: that should be a warning in the notes of the song
(10:11:32 PM) Brennan: *song may make you want to go and get a burritto from yours or a nearby fridge
(10:11:44 PM) Markus: hahahahahahaha
(10:12:02 PM) Markus: hopefully you don't live near a mexican grandmother then
(10:12:11 PM) Markus: constantly with the good eats
(10:12:11 PM) Brennan: anywey. Have you heard Lil Wayne's new album? I know this is an odd question but you could be like me, an unlikely convert.
(10:12:22 PM) Brennan: that happened across one another at a record store
(10:12:24 PM) Markus: Lil Wayne?
(10:12:32 PM) Brennan: yeah, he's a rap artist
(10:12:39 PM) Markus: never heard of him to be honest
(10:12:48 PM) Brennan: no worries. Do you know Jay-z?
(10:12:53 PM) Brennan: he's pretty well known
(10:12:55 PM) Markus: Not had an opportunity to listen to much music lately
(10:12:57 PM) Markus: yeah
(10:13:02 PM) Markus: I do know Jay-Z
(10:13:07 PM) Brennan: he guests on one of Lil Wayne's new songs
(10:13:16 PM) Brennan: it's pretty cool
(10:13:27 PM) Brennan: really intense vocal imagery
(10:13:40 PM) Markus: intriguing
(10:14:15 PM) Markus: Is your band still together?
(10:14:21 PM) Markus: What happened with that>
(10:14:22 PM) Markus: ?
(10:14:41 PM) Brennan: because [Lil Wayne] is basically the next big thing in rap/hip-hop
(10:14:49 PM) Brennan: The Red Eyes? no
(10:14:50 PM) Brennan: we split
(10:14:56 PM) Brennan: punches were unleashed
(10:15:01 PM) Markus: hm. Well, at least I can say I've heard of him now
(10:15:04 PM) Brennan: kicks were ignited
(10:15:09 PM) Markus: Lead singer issues, yes?
(10:15:20 PM) Brennan: monkeys were exchanged
(10:15:29 PM) Markus: Indians were touched
(10:15:44 PM) Brennan: islands were inhabited
(10:16:06 PM) Markus: virgins were sacrificed
(10:16:25 PM) Brennan: dude, you can't go sacrificing virgins just like it's Thursday or soemthing
(10:17:27 PM) Markus: lol
(10:18:04 PM) Brennan: No, but a one of the guitarists left for a business thing and then we looked around for a replacement and couldn't find one that worked.
(10:18:24 PM) Brennan: the singer, my brother, and me tried to keep some pieces afloat; writing some songs here and there
(10:18:28 PM) Markus: wow
(10:18:39 PM) Markus: why'd he leave?
(10:18:41 PM) Markus: what the heck
(10:18:50 PM) Markus: you guys were getting good
(10:19:10 PM) Brennan: It was like who turned on the lights in the middle of a really good movie
(10:19:36 PM) Markus: yeah
(10:19:44 PM) Markus: why'd he leave?
(10:19:55 PM) Brennan: but they offered him this full time position at Washington state teaching. they even gave his wife a job. p[retty good deal
(10:20:12 PM) Markus: wow
(10:20:14 PM) Markus: I see
(10:20:15 PM) Markus: far move
(10:20:22 PM) Markus: can't telecommute to a band
(10:20:48 PM) Markus: yet
(10:20:54 PM) Markus: lame
(10:20:54 PM) Brennan: there was a thought to organize shows if he was going to be in the area ever again. or he comes down when we want to record something. but that, I don't know
(10:21:24 PM) Brennan: there's a lot of My Bloody Valentine and almost Jesus and Mary Chain in this new Coldplay album
(10:21:25 PM) Markus: yeah, how often would he possibly come down?
(10:21:37 PM) Brennan: who knows, it was a while ago
(10:21:46 PM) Markus: sad
(10:22:11 PM) Markus: I have no idea who any of those besidea My Bloody Valentine is you name dropper
(10:22:17 PM) Markus: *besides
(10:22:27 PM) Brennan: what can I say
(10:22:30 PM) Brennan: I drp names
(10:22:35 PM) Brennan: drip/drop?
(10:23:00 PM) Markus: lol
(10:23:15 PM) Markus: drip
(10:23:15 PM) Brennan: viva la vida has this weird pelvic-thrusting beat
(10:23:18 PM) Markus: name DRIPPER
(10:23:26 PM) Markus: yeah it does!
(10:23:34 PM) Markus: Been using it in your practice at work?
(10:23:40 PM) Markus: Last one, I promise
(10:23:55 PM) Brennan: I think we would explode with laughter if we ever got hi together.
(10:24:12 PM) Brennan: literally
(10:24:16 PM) Markus: I think that could happen anyway
(10:24:17 PM) Markus: lol
(10:24:20 PM) Markus: HAHAHAHAHAHA
(10:24:34 PM) Markus: good lord
(10:24:42 PM) Markus: the dog is choking on Spaghetti
(10:25:09 PM) Brennan: this feels like one of those rare moments where the term lol would actually apply
(10:25:09 PM) Markus: *NOT a euphamism*
(10:25:19 PM) Markus: good
(10:25:21 PM) Brennan: sometimes my coworkers type it and theyre sitting next to me
(10:25:27 PM) Brennan: I'm like: you didn't laugh out loud
(10:25:43 PM) Brennan: and then this image of me leaping out of my chair and kneeing them to the ground pops into my head
(10:25:52 PM) Markus: It always applies when I say it, you know I can never NOT laugh even when something is mildly funny
(10:26:06 PM) Markus: HAHAA
(10:26:08 PM) Markus: YES!
(10:26:10 PM) Markus: LOL
(10:26:18 PM) Markus: Seriously
(10:26:20 PM) Brennan: :)
(10:26:31 PM) Markus: people look at me funny for laughing at my computer all the time
(10:26:43 PM) Markus: Damn you Johnson
(10:27:04 PM) Brennan: it's what you get
(10:27:16 PM) Markus: yeah, you get it more though, much more
(10:27:23 PM) Markus: damn
(10:27:24 PM) Brennan: i wish
(10:27:25 PM) Markus: I'm sorry
(10:27:28 PM) Markus: I said last one
(10:27:31 PM) Markus: oops
(10:27:35 PM) Brennan: last one?
(10:27:51 PM) Brennan: did I mention we might get a hookah?
(10:27:54 PM) Markus: I was making another you have sex with your employers hoke
(10:27:58 PM) Markus: *joke
(10:28:00 PM) Brennan: a little one though, not like an elephant
(10:28:01 PM) Markus: wow
(10:28:02 PM) Markus: nice
(10:28:14 PM) Markus: too......easy......
(10:28:18 PM) Brennan: I can't have sex with my employers if I'm kneeing them to the ground
(10:28:24 PM) Brennan: com'n that just wouldnt make sense
(10:28:25 PM) Markus: true tha
(10:28:26 PM) Brennan: I expected more
(10:28:28 PM) Markus: *that
(10:28:30 PM) Brennan: *shame
(10:28:30 PM) Markus: you know
(10:28:58 PM) Markus: A guy just got arrested for having minors repeatedly knee him in the groin with his pants down
(10:28:59 PM) Brennan: *shoots it at Markus like Ryu from street fighter hai-o-ken-ing
(10:29:03 PM) Markus: so yeah, you could
(10:29:07 PM) Markus: if they were masochists
(10:29:29 PM) Brennan: he just got voluntarily beat the shit out
(10:29:31 PM) Brennan: of
(10:29:38 PM) Brennan: or at least his testicles did
(10:29:38 PM) Markus: *Markues Bounces it right back like Blanca shooting sparks
(10:29:46 PM) Markus: Yeah
(10:29:48 PM) Brennan: that mopve didn't reflect did it?
(10:29:50 PM) Markus: It was his idea
(10:29:56 PM) Markus: no
(10:29:57 PM) Markus: not really
(10:29:59 PM) Brennan: I didn't think so
(10:30:02 PM) Brennan: *shame
(10:30:03 PM) Markus: only in my head
(10:30:06 PM) Markus: HAHAHA
(10:30:13 PM) Markus: I've gotta go get some sleep
(10:30:18 PM) Markus: I have to be up early tomorrow
(10:30:19 PM) Markus: LAME
(10:30:20 PM) Brennan: it would be called 'fists of shame' in the game
(10:30:25 PM) Markus: lol
(10:30:29 PM) Brennan: it's not even 10:31
(10:30:40 PM) Markus: btw: Be Kind Rewind is slow, but tastey
(10:30:43 PM) Markus: I know
(10:30:47 PM) Brennan: I've heard
(10:30:53 PM) Markus: But I have to get up ungodly early
(10:30:58 PM) Brennan: but I havent had the oppurtunity to savor the sultry morsel
(10:31:03 PM) Brennan: how ungodly?
(10:31:08 PM) Markus: DownLOAD
(10:31:15 PM) Markus: like 6
(10:31:16 PM) Markus: ugh
(10:31:24 PM) Brennan: for FastPlow?
(10:31:31 PM) Markus: I need 9 hours normally
(10:31:34 PM) Markus: yeah
(10:31:46 PM) Markus: Plowing the snowy snowy streets of LA
(10:32:01 PM) Brennan: plowing? dude, you could catch something
(10:32:17 PM) Markus: wait, what?
(10:32:36 PM) Brennan: ever feel like characters you know from television are judging you?
(10:32:42 PM) Brennan: it's a very odd feeling I'm told.
(10:32:48 PM) Markus: HEY, you're trying to distract me and keep me talking, I won't fall for that, and yes, yes I do.
(10:33:00 PM) Markus: DAMMIT
(10:33:05 PM) Markus: It just happened again
(10:33:05 PM) Brennan: you spelled that wrong too
(10:33:09 PM) Markus: goodnight Brennan
(10:33:11 PM) Brennan: machete
(10:33:26 PM) Brennan: mache-che-chete
(10:33:34 PM) Markus: ?
(10:33:38 PM) Brennan: say it out loud
(10:33:50 PM) Brennan: it sounds funny
(10:34:02 PM) Brennan: and your mouth moves funny
(10:34:02 PM) Markus: goodnight sir
(10:34:08 PM) Markus: talk to you tomorrow
(10:34:09 PM) Brennan: goodnight
(10:34:14 PM) Brennan: Fastplow

-----------------------
Author's Notes:

• Markus, don't be mad. The people needed to see this.
• concept: composing a dialogue with another human being
• question: which character do you know the full name of? reasoning?
  
• alternate title idea: unlikely converts
• spelling be damned
• *the names in this story have been changed to protect the identities of the participants
  
• I shouldn't be sitting this way while writing this.